I Should be Able to Handle This

I wrote this for me to work thought my thoughts, and I wrote it for anyone who ever struggles with feeling inadequate.

Yesterday I spent several hours working through IRS paperwork for the Dwelling Richly ministry.

I know. Riveting stuff.

The form was long, detailed, and filled with questions that were completely outside my area of expertise. I found myself researching unfamiliar terms, reading instructions, double-checking answers, and wondering more than once if I was getting any of it right. Eventually, I got through it. But what surprised me wasn’t the complexity of the form. It was what was happening inside me while I worked on it.

I noticed myself becoming stressed and anxious. No one was threatening me or criticizing me (well, my inner voice was a tad harsh – a post for another day!) No one was looking over my shoulder drumming their fingers impatiently.

The challenge was this daunting form, sure, but it was worse because of the story I was telling myself. For someone who is by nature quite the go-getter, “you can do this” sort, I was feeling swallowed by “I should be able to handle this” and “I’m not qualified for this” and even “you should take a nap” thoughts. LOL. It was a battle with my mind and my heart constantly getting stabbed by invasive thoughts like:

“I’m probably doing it wrong.”
“What if I miss something important?”
“I don’t know enough.”

After a very long day working through it all, losing progress, starting over, nearly 7 hours later I got it done and did take that nap. Nodding off, I prayed pretty much this prayer…

Because there are areas of life where I feel comfortable and confident, but other people feel exactly the way I felt today: intimidated, overwhelmed, and convinced they’re not qualified and I nodded off thinking about this and thanking God for helping me get that task done but even more, what He would teach me, and then – this is so beautiful – almost as soon as I lifted my eyes this came to me: a conversation I had had with a friend just a few days ago.

She Loves Jesus. Wonderful person. Kind. Generous. Great friend. The kind of person you’d absolutely want in your corner when life gets hard. And she was helping another woman get started in a Dwelling Richly Bible study. Helping her find a Bible. Encouraging her. Just kind of walking alongside her. At some point I said, “What a sweet opportunity for you to disciple her.” And she looked at me like I had lost my ever-loving mind. She basically said, “Oh no. Not me. I couldn’t do that. I don’t know enough.” And now, I know what she meant and maybe the self-doubt voice she heard, the one that says:

“I should probably know more than I do.”
“I should probably be stronger in my faith by now.”
And then somehow that turns into, “Well, God couldn’t really use me to help somebody else.”

But the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I’ve been wondering… how did any of us grow in the first place? Wasn’t it because somebody took time for us? Somebody answered a question as best as they could. They prayed with us. They just shared what they were learning or pointed us back to Jesus when we got off track. And I’d love for you to think about this:

Discipleship works much the same way, and perhaps the reason so many believers never step into discipling others is because they’re waiting to feel ready. They’re waiting to become the person they imagine a disciple-maker should be. Meanwhile, God has already placed people in their lives who need encouragement, prayer, friendship, and someone willing to open God’s Word with them.

As I reflected on that IRS form yesterday, I found myself praying for a greater compassion toward those who feel stuck. Because I’ve been there. Stuck, intimidated, worried I was doing it “wrong”. I realize that I have over 30 years in ministry teaching, studying, writing, discipling, but I still feel ill-equipped. Maybe not as out of my league as I felt completing that IRS form, but definitely with plenty of room to grow. And maybe you think of “discipling” in the same way – like you are out of your league and you should just take a nap and let someone else take care of that.

So, my heart to you is that you might just relax your expectation that you need to be an expert and just saying yes to the opportunity God has already placed in front of you. After all, most of us didn’t grow because an expert showed up. We grew because someone cared enough to walk with us for a while. That’s where discipleship begins.

The lesson God was teaching me wasn’t really about tax forms. It was about the way fear and self-doubt can keep us from taking the next step He puts in front of us. The feelings that almost kept me from filing that form are remarkably similar to the feelings that keep many believers from discipling others.

As I look back on that day, I’m actually encouraged. I didn’t handle it perfectly and I certainly never felt anxious. But somewhere in the middle of all that frustration, Scripture kept finding its way into my thoughts. Truths I had studied and verses I had memorized…I found myself remembering that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. I remembered that He is a God of peace, not confusion. I remembered the many ways He had led and provided for me in the past, including the very journey that brought Dwelling Richly to this point.

What a great reminder. I felt so uplifted: Discipleship had been doing its work all along through the friends who encouraged me, the pastors and mentors who invested in me, the years spent studying Scripture – just me and the Holy Spirit. Those things didn’t keep me from facing a stressful day (ugh.), but they did help me face it differently (Yay!). The anxious thoughts were loud, but they weren’t the only voices in the room. God’s truth was there too.

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The whole reason I was dealing with that IRS form goblin is so that Dwelling Richly could be recognized officially as a 501c3 non-profit. Our mission is “discipling believers to love God heart, soul, mind, and strength.” Through Bible studies, devotionals, workshops, retreats, and resources we are already doing that and one aspect of that is the “Follow Me” training.

The first Follow Me workshop is designed for people who love Jesus and want to grow but sometimes feel intimidated, unqualified, or unsure where to begin. Together we’ll explore what discipleship actually is, what it looks like in everyday life, and how ordinary believers can help one another follow Christ.

Future Follow Me workshops will build on that foundation, covering practical skills like leading spiritual conversations, studying the Bible with others, and walking alongside people in their faith journey. My hope is to help believers move from “I could never do that” to “I think I can take the next step.”

Learn More about the Follow Me Workshop here:

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