My Broken Heart to Yours

It was the morning after.
I woke up still in shock.
Still wrecked by the news of Charlie Kirk’s murder.
Still so broken by the dark weight of hate that grips our world.
Like you, the “Why, God? Why?” trembles through my heart.

That morning marked 24 years since 9/11 and was only days after the murder of Iryna Zarutska…my heart cannot contain the grief processing these moments. It’s all so much to hold and to try to move through. To go about my day feels…disrespectful? But, the sun came up. The sky remains. How do I carry this weight? Paul said:

“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison” 2 Corinthians 4:17

Light? Momentary? I know it…but, this doesn’t feel light at all. It weighs heavily, an unrelenting pressure.

My head and my heart are at odds.
I know and yet I cannot fathom, because I’m enveloped by a shroud of grief that I can’t reach out from.
His widow. Their children. Oh, my heart as I think of them…and I weep again.

Oh, Heavenly Father, we need You. How I need You…Oh, how we all need You.

“Do we feel the world is broken?
We do.
Do de feel the shadows deepen?
We do.
But do we know that the dark won’t stop the light from getting through?
We do.
Do we wish that we could see it all made new?
We do.”

We groan. We wait. We grieve. But…

“…we do not grieve as those who have no hope…”
1 Thessalonians 4:13

We do grieve, and yet, somehow with hope. Because even now, especially now, our comfort is not in the absence of pain, but in the presence of our Savior. We lift our weary eyes from the valley to the hills. We cannot speak in strength so we whisper weakly with David in Psalm 23,

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me.”

It may come out as a question, will I fear no evil? Will you be with me? And still in assurance. Yes. You will be. Yes, I will fear not. So, we anchor ourselves in this:

“…we do not yet see everything in subjection to Him…but we see Him…” Hebrews 2:8-9

Yes. We see Jesus. We lift our eyes up and we ask:

“…from whence cometh my help? My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth.” Psalm 121

We see Jesus. Wounded. Pierced. Broken. Lifted up.

And yet, crowned with glory and honor.
He tasted death, so we don’t have to.
He bore wrath, so we can receive mercy.
He was pierced by evil – my sin, yours, ours – so we could be healed, restored, made new and in the grief and darkness have hope? Yes, have. HOPE.

As misty and unreachable as hope feels I know it’s there and I sing, sobbing:

“Worthy are You, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for You created all things,
and by Your will they existed and were created.”
Revelation 4:11

The story is not over.
The grave is not final:

“Where, O death, is your victory?
Where, O death, is your sting?”
Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory
through our Lord Jesus Christ.
1 Corinthians 15:55–57

So yes, our hearts are heavy. But they are not hopeless.
Yes, the world is broken. But it will be restored.
Yes, the shadows feel thick. But the Light has not gone out.

Let’s weep, and pray, and hug our children a little tighter.
Let’s be in unity with one another, pointing our hearts – our broken hearts – to Him.
Let’s not let this moment pass without returning again to the Word, to the cross, to the resurrection.

This is the hope Charlie knew. This is why and how he lived and spoke and how he could keep living and speaking even to that final moment when the Lord allowed Him to be taken. So, we live in that same boldness, hope, and love. Living as Charlie did knowing that:

“Jesus defeated death so you can live.” ~Charlie Kirk

Eyes on Him, dear ones.
He is worthy.

With you in grief,
Holding fast to hope,

Jennifer