It’s surreal
the kinds of things that are happening simultaneously.
Planning for life and ministry
for death and transition.
To laugh and smile one minute and to sob the next.
To feel fine and full and then
breathless and empty.
Making fudge then
making end of life plans.
Calling dinner delivery then calling a hospice nurse.
It’s like an out of focus dream,
but so real.
God is good, but this is odd
and mysterious
and very painful at the same time.
I feel at once strong and ready and
also weak and worried.
Truly His grace is sufficient and His strength is perfected in weakness.
How do people move without the hope of our Savior?
If I’m smiling and normal,
that’s because of Him, otherwise,
I’d be
in a heap
under my blanket
surrounded by tissues
and an empty
Kleenex box.
As it stands, my Kleenex box is running low
but my hope is high.
Truly, He’s all I see
even if that’s in a mirror
dimly.
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