When You’re Worried About What to Say

I know that anxious rehearsal of imagined conversations too well. I’ve been that woman afraid I won’t have the words, let alone the grace or courage to say what needs saying. I start to doubt myself, tentatively trying to string together what I might say, while already bracing for the moment I’ll forget—like I forgot where I put my keys this morning. Feeling unprepared and inadequate and somehow sure that someone else would do it, say it, share it all so much better.

I’m THAT person. Not witty. Not clever. Not good at remembering things let alone important and words and phrases that will somehow make it all “just right.”

Ugh. It’s nerve-wracking.
Until…
Until I rest and return to the Word.
Until I stop trying to find strength in myself and start remembering who He is.

You had to know that was coming. If you’ve read my blog or had a conversation with me at any length you know how I feel and what I am strongly convicted of about this kind of thing. Certainly, not because I’m some super together word wizard but because I really truly have been there on the clumsy side of this and have also been there on the, “Woah, there’s no way that was me” side of it.

It all comes down to this shift: what I know to be true impacting what I actually do…and in this case, say or don’t say, Ha! (more on Holy Spirit duct tape in a other blog.)

For now…here’s the game changing question: Has God ever failed? No. (You knew that answer!)

The more I open the Word with a heart to really see God, to know Him, to remember what He’s done—the more clearly I see Him for who He is today, right here in my wee little shaky life.

And that has changed everything. It truly has. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’ll be honest: There are times I still worry. I still over-think. But I am getting better and more consistent at keeping my eyes on Him.

Here’s the deal, it’s easy to feel anxious about whether we’ll have the right words especially in crucial moments. And we’re not the first to feel that way. Remember this moment recorded in Luke…

Imagine how the disciples must have felt as Jesus told them that conflict and persecution weren’t just possible they were inevitable. They were fishermen, tax collectors, everyday people. Not trained speakers. Not naturally brave. Just guys who had dropped everything to follow Jesus.

Jesus tells them:

“When they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” (Luke 12:11-12)

Note the “When” not “IF” wording. Oh boy. Yikes. This isn’t just a pep talk. It’s a promise from their Rabbi, their Friend, the Messiah. And it lands not like a motivational speech, but like a deep exhale of relief. It reminds me also of how Jesus said, “in this world you WILL have tribulation, but be of good cheer for I have overcome the world.”

That’s where I find peace. That’s where the clarity returns. I don’t have a perfectly worded script, but because I remember I’m not carrying the pressure alone because if Jesus overcame the world – and He absolutely did – then I’m in there. It’s a package deal. That means my worried – He overcame. My sluggish speech – overcame! My brokenness – again – OVERCAME!

The Holy Spirit is with me. He’s helping me to trust. Wow.

I remember in Acts 4, when Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, speaks boldly before the very rulers who condemned Jesus. The man who once stumbled and denied Christ now speaks with clarity and confidence. Why?

Because the Spirit gave him exactly what he needed.

Wow, again!

Here’s what hugs me in that moment and I hope will hug you too…the same Spirit who helped Peter helps us – “…those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.” (2 Chronicles 16:9)

So, when that next hard conversation comes and when your hands shake or your mind feels scattered, remember: You are not alone. You don’t have to panic. You are invited to taste and see that the Lord is good (Psalm 34:8). And He will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)—even down to the very words you need in that moment.

I know there are tricky conversations ahead.
I know there’s that strained relationship you so badly want to get right.
I know there’s a moment coming soon when you’ll need to speak truth in love,
and your heart will be racing…
and your words will feel jumbled and swirling in your brain, tied up like a necklace that got knotted up in the pocket of your purse….

How will you tease out the words?
How will you straighten your thoughts?
How will you speak with love and grace and truth?

You won’t do it by sheer willpower.
You won’t do it by rehearsing every possible outcome or scripting every line.
You’ll do it by resting in the Word, by trusting the Holy Spirit to guide you in the moment, and by remembering who God is…the One whose promises never fail.

Keep in mind also that the imaginary ideal where someone else—definitely more put-together than you—would’ve said it better, known just what to do, and floated out of the conversation on a cloud of hugs and heavenly applause – that image you have of the other smarter, more faithful, better equipped people than you are just that – images from your imagination – IMAGINATION.

Imagine this instead: Who is the One who actually does know the exactly right thing to say? Of course it’s Jesus.

And here’s the incredible truth: He promised the Holy Spirit would be with you not only present in the moment, but active and helping you remember, guiding you into truth, and giving you what you need, down to the very words.

You won’t do it by scripting every line or trying to become that imaginary “perfect person.” You’ll do it by abiding in Him and having let His Word “dwell in you richly.”

Trusting the One who already knows how this conversation ends.

Know Him. Love Him. Trust Him and His Word.
Make that your daily prayer. Start here with a prayer like this:

Lord, I know you already know the weakest most uncertain parts of my heart and mind. I know you already know that I’m pretty good at acting weak and giving in to the anxiety when I know better. I’m sorry. Today, I trust You. I trust you to help me do better at reading, loving, and knowing You through Your Word. Go before me today and prepare my heart and mind. Prepare the heart and mind also of that person in my difficult – even scary – relationship. I’m just going to leave it all to you today. I really do trust You. Amen.

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